Uh, Britney… Now Might Be a Good Time for Pants

Not only is Britney Spears currently dealing with the general craziness of her daily life (no doubt due to her non-traditional parenting style which includes at least a few nights of partying each week), but she’s also being forced to face the reality of something a little more serious: ex-husband Kevin Federline and his high-powered attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan finally getting serious about some child abuse allegations against her.

The basis of the child abuse allegations are not necessarily accusations of physical violence, but fit a little better into the category of neglect and parental ignorance. Some of rumored claims against Britney are her bad parenting skills which have led her young boys to have poor dental hygiene, eating, and sleeping habits. Hmm, I wonder how that could be? If only I could count how many times we’ve seen pictures of Britney parading her boys around very late at night and she’s also reputedly filled their bottles with soda. Someone needs to get through to Britney and her wild behavior very soon, or else she will lose all custody rights to the boys who supposedly mean the world to her (although that’s kind of hard to believe when she seems to be out at the clubs more than anyone else in Hollywood.)

Many of Britney’s assistants, family members, and other business associates have already been hand-delivered subpoena documents; meaning they will all have to testify to their knowledge of Britney’s parenting abilities and any of her actions which may interfere with her ability to be a fit parent for her two young boys, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Britney’s long-time manager Larry Rudolph has gone into hiding to postpone the inevitable subpoena he will receive forcing him to reveal information he might rather keep quiet. According to an email sent by Rudolph to Ryan Seacrest’s radio show, he will always be on Britney’s side and wants to wait as long as he can before being forced to testify against Britney.

Britney finally seems to have gotten some good advice from someone and has started an effort to bulk up her defense for the inevitable custody battle that will be coming soon. She has reputedly hired a firm of private investigation headed by Lisa Javoric to help with the case.